Ewww: a Mars/Saturn story.

As a married couple with thirteen years of trandem entertaining under our belts, Jonny and I are fairly unflappable hosts. Spilled wine, broken dishes; inebriated or emotionally distraught guests, guests suffering from heat exhaustion or from canopies falling over on their heads; too much food, too little food, food allergies... we've seen it all.

Or so we thought. But Saturday night, a scant half-hour before our dinner guests were due to arrive - and just a few hours before the exactly conjunction of Mars and Saturn, representing blockages of all kinds - every drain in our house spontaneously... stopped draining. And for a moment, we froze like deer in the proverbial headlights.

But then the reflexes born of many years' experience kicked in, and we sprang into action. Within an hour, Jonny had gone to three home improvement stores and finally tracked down and rented an electric snake to clear the drain. Meanwhile, I held down the fort, finishing the cooking and entertaining guests with salty snacks and as little liquid as possible. Within 90 minutes, indoor plumbing had been restored and we were all sitting down to dinner and a dazzling array of cool beverages, which we enjoyed without restraint.

Teamwork and coordination, friends: thats the key to a marriage that works. That, and a 75-foot electric drain cleaner every few years.